Tag Archives: Faith

Get Tech?

26 Jan

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In a World where technology advances at amazing speeds, it’s hard to keep track of everything that is happening throughout the globe.

Just the other day my Uncle was telling me, with enough money I could buy my own personal submarine that comes with a full training on safety and operation.

http://https://www.thrillist.com/cars/the-coolest-mini-subs-you-can-actually-buy-pedal-powered-submarines-personal-submarines-real-yellow-submarine

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Whoa….

Meanwhile, over in Brooklyn I am setting up my wireless HP Officejet Pro 8610 so I can use my scan to email feature.

Sadly, that will be the only jet I embark on today….

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Developing new technology usually supports innovative thinking and makes Life easier and more convenient.

Technology advances to serve purpose.

I am thankful for my wireless printer that can scan my paper documents and email them directly to my inbox.  This tool is helping me to achieve my goals……One step at a time.

Jet to Jet….

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Hard Work

25 Jan

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Hard work is a defining factor that will contribute to success.  When you set a goal, use your passion as a tool to inspire you to achieve great things.  Don’t be afraid to be a Leader and take risks…..no great change comes from people who are scared.

Don’t worry about what other people think and have confidence and belief in your instincts.

Never give up and never give into weakness.  Being strong, working hard, making smart decisions and being a good Leader will be the determining factor of success.

Good Luck and Hustle Strong.

Believe

19 Apr

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One of the hardest parts of Life is keeping an unfaltering faith in God.

When things are on the good path and everything goes as planned, we are happy people.

When things start to fall apart and Life becomes hard – our happiness is affected and we can become discouraged.  It is not always easy to stay on the positive side of the mind and heart.

During our journey, we will experience surprises that cause heartbreak and are Life altering.  Our challenge is to rise above obstacles in a way that is not harmful.  It is very important not to hurt ourselves or other people. 

So in a time when Life is changing in so many ways, even though some times may be painful and discouraging – I am holding onto my faith to help guide me forward.

When you feel something is right in your heart and love is the most powerful force that exists – things will be ok.

Life is meant to be great and of this we should not lose sight.

Eyes Set

29 Mar

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Life is full of action.  These past few months have been a hectic time. 

Obstacles occur in Life that lead us to test our strength and courage.  These days,  often, I find myself questioning my future.

What is in store for me in the upcoming days?  Will I succeed in accomplishing the goals I set out to achieve?  Will I be strong enough to sort through the madness I constantly encounter in this World?

“Worry ends….where Faith begins.”

This is something I am keeping at the front of my mind.

Having Faith is a strength. 

Keeping strong is on the top of my Mind.

Enjoy Your Day!

A Subtle Emphasis

3 Jan

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What does it mean to be in Love?

Writing this may be one of the hardest things I have ever written.  Have I ever be in love?  Am I confused as to what it means to be in love?  I’m not sure.  How honest can I be with myself?

When something pulls at your heart, you wonder will it turn out the way you hope?  Wanting something so badly, but knowing right now is impractical.  Do your feelings make sense; does Love fit into your Life the way you thought it would? 

When thinking about love, there is a story two people share – a subtle emphasis of feelings. Feelings that can be non-threatening, self – lying, sacrifice making; self -doubting collision of connection.  

Love is non-threatening because it is subtle.  Love is-self lying because sometimes we purposely push our feelings aside.  Love is a sacrifice because pushing aside feelings can hurt both parties.  Self -doubting because it forces you to make a choice. 
Most importantly, Love is a connection linking people’s most inner thoughts and emotions. 

Every person has a different perspective about Love because not everyone views Life’s experiences the same.  Truthfully it is difficult for me to verbalize my feelings of passion. It is hard for me to put my feelings into words. 

How do people acknowledge feelings that are so deep and intimate? What is love and passion?  Love and passion is being able to look in someone’s eyes and see how they look back – a soft look of hope and understanding; a look of complete comfort. 

You can be the best person you are because your passion is pure. You can communicate without using words.  Some experiences send excitement to the heart which fulfills the soul. 

Pure passion is a force so electrifying; your heart beats faster leaving you breathless.  The world around you seems oblivious. 

Passion cannot be controlled. It is something I feel.  It is something you feel.

Is this passion real? Think about how it feels to pretend that deep feelings like love and passion don’t exist. Can anyone truly control their emotions or passion?  Sometimes I have great control over my emotions.  Other times when my passion grows so intense I lose control.

Once I told my brother Will, “Sometimes you have to sit back, relax, and let go – then….hold on tight as you can for the ride of your life.”

To know if honest love in my Life is real, I have to be comfortable and at ease. I must be able to place great trust in another person. 

It is important for people who love each other to bring out the best in one another.  I must be truly sure that whoever I am with can share a similar view of appreciating good values and love for Life.

All of these things, I am certain………

But, why I love you the most, is because you amaze me with your ways and you can put me to sleep with your breathing. 

http://www.flowmustgo.com

http://www.flowmustgo.com

MONSTERS AND MEN!

12 Dec

JUST FOLLOW MY YELLOW LIGHT…………

ONCE

11 Dec

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Tonight I went to go see “Once” with my family.  We bought tickets to celebrate my Father’s Birthday and we headed out for a night on Broadway.

Our seats were incredible and we sat front and center stage.

Watching a show from so close changes everything, as the actors are watching your reaction to the show as closely as you are watching them perform.  It’s very interesting.

“Once” is a very good play.  It captures and explains very deep emotions of passion, heartache, pain, moving on, not letting go and the pursuit of true love and happiness.

The Actors were phenomenal.  They performed with true heartfelt passion for the story and they drew me into each scene.  Sitting very still in my seat, I paid very close attention to the stage and I watched with anticipation and genuine awe for the performance. 

“Once ” captures human emotions that revolve around love and the lengths one will go to hold on to the person that most fulfills their soul in that special way only one person could do…. once in a Life.

Next to the actors, the music in the play was the best part of the show.  Truly outstanding magical music.

More than 5 times, throughout the performance, I was glad to be sipping on a whiskey.  When the emotions ran too high and the actors peered into my eyes too deep, a break in concentration with a sip of a drink.

The show was great.

What I realized from watching “Once” and after everything I experienced today is……

You can’t truly ever really leave your Heart.

Once Music Video: Falling Slowly: http://youtu.be/-GOFQReTlug

Once Music Video: When Your Mind’s Made Up: http://youtu.be/4fTwaLzPCHA

http://www.flowmustgo.com

Long Days

10 Dec

Excitment is something that keeps people interested in doing new things.

At this moment, I am not too excited in my Life.

These past few weeks, I have been having horrible chest pains. Thinking I had a walking pneumonia or was on the brink of having a heart attack I consulted with a doctor.

After some Xrays and evaluation, the Doc diagnosed me with an ailment: condochondritis. He explained the cartilage that connects my ribs to my chest bone is inflamed.

He printed me out an explanation, wrote me a prescription and bid me on my way.

It wasn’t to days later, did I even notice the explanation he printed. It appears that my diagnosis has nothing to do w severe heart or lung problems but is caused by emotional trauma or stress.

Recommendations: Get a deep tissue massage and get your Life together.

Lol stress is hurting me so much it has internalized to physical pain. I am still stunned that this is even possible.

Well on a bright optimistic side, I am no longer worried about dropping from a heart attack, although one never can tell.

So in the meantime, I am going to have to get things under stress control and do things that make me feel good and relaxed. It is better to release energy on exciting things in Life.

It is painful to internalize stress. And this is no way to live.

Stress relief sounds like a very nice change.

One day at a time……

http://www.flowmustgo.com

INSIDE OUT

5 Dec

Hey Everyone:

Attached is Chapter 1 & 2 of my first book called INSIDE OUT!!

ENJOY!

Hi!  My name is Ann Marie.  My Life – so far, has been an amazing adventure.  For this, I am truly grateful.  Thanking, God, the sky and everyone looking out for me is why I am alive.  I love my Life.  Living well means staying involved and being passionate about living each day fully.

For a long time I have been putting off writing a book.  Any time I thought about writing, I was unsure where to begin my story.  I can’t wait any longer to share what I have learned – so many interesting things have happened.

By telling you my story, maybe I can share with you some hope. There is greatness in the world.  Focusing on the good things that happen constantly – a beautiful skyline, a bright full moon, a beer with a friend or a smile from a stranger, helps to keep me grounded.  I honestly write about how I see life.

No matter what the challenge, I try to stay focused on making the most out of Life’s adventures. It is not always easy but I work hard at staying happy.  Life is the ultimate gift.

CHAPTER  1– THE CATCH UP

Since many readers don’t know me, the best way to start this story is to catch you up on who I am and where I live.  Being born and raised in Brooklyn, NY has helped me to shape into the person I am today.

I’m a true New Yorker and will always call Brooklyn my home.  Right now, I am sitting on a porch in Elkridge, Maryland.  A month ago I moved to Maryland from Brooklyn for my job as a medical courier. Every day I transport medicines and pharmaceuticals to hospitals and people’s homes.  Every day I transport IV bags to hospitals, chemotherapy to cancer patients, etc. delivering medicines that people need to live.

In this job I drive all day. Drive, Drop, Drive, Drop, Drive……..  (Taking a break from my Life in Maryland and returning to NY) I truly love New York.  Growing up in a big, busy city has shaped me in many ways.  Living in New York City has helped me become comfortable around masses and crowds of people.  There is constant opportunity for interaction with people.  New York is an integrated city with countless nationalities.  Being exposed to Irish, Italian, Greek, Spanish, Asian, Black, Jewish and people from the Caribbean has allowed me to understand many cultures and different styles of living.

With an open mind, I never hesitate to meet new people or try new things.  Being fascinated by people, I have never been afraid to glimpse into their world.  I try not to discriminate and I respect every person as an individual. So far, I think I have done a decent job.

New York, crowded and energetic, is where I thrive on adventure and exploring. NYC is my supreme learning experience.  I am grateful for friends and family in New York who have guided me this far.

CHAPTER 2 – THE FAMILY

I am the daughter of William and Donna and sister of Willie and Ryan.  Our family is great. My parents, William and Donna are my role models– I owe them a great deal of thanks.  They committed their lives to guiding their children and to teaching us how to be good people.

My parents are selfless and dedicated; loving and loyal to their children. They work incredibly hard to provide us with a good life.

My mother is the Director of Finance at an Architectural Design firm. My father is semi-retired and spends his time managing his property. My parents bonded together with the goal of forming a family. We all love each other and help each other any way we can.

Ryan is my younger sister.  Yes, Ryan’s a boy’s name; if you know her you would see how well her name suits her personality.  She stands about 5’2” with long blonde hair, bright blue eyes and has a huge smile.  Ryan is a tough number.

She loves life with great passion and she always seeks adventure.  Ryan is a fighter and doesn’t like to be told she can’t do something. For Ryan, adjusting to her surroundings is easy, she adapts well to new situations. She is one of the best our family has – a true support. Loyalty is one of her greatest qualities.  Making sure that we stand together is her special gift to our family.

Ryan possesses the skill of logic – but that’s only if she isn’t drinking – however, that goes for most anybody.  I enjoy drinking and so do most of our friends.  Many of our social functions involve alcohol.  It’s amazing how many people in the world love to drink.  I have seen how alcohol can take its toll.

The Shenanigans – some of the best times we have, always leads us to booze.  Just the right amount of alcohol can have a magical effect.  Many of us at one time or another has had an extraordinary night while having a few drinks.  Drinking and dancing can set the scene for an adrenaline pumping time.  These times make me feel happy to be alive.

I have also seen how alcohol can affect people when it’s abused.  I have seen the worst of how alcohol can have negative effects: lost cell phones and wallets, blackouts, accidents, violence and destruction…..

Alcohol is a strange potion.  People must keep a close watch on how deeply alcohol can affect their lives.  For every person, the consequences of drinking are different – from celebration to desperation.  Don’t let anything or anyone take away your potential to live your best life.  You run your show.

My brother Will is a quiet guy.  At 6’1” he is the tallest in our family.  He is the middle child.  Ryan is the youngest and I am the oldest.  Will has dark short blonde hair.  His eyes can change color ranging from grey, to green, to blue depending on the color of the clothing he is wearing.  Will isn’t shy.  He simply isn’t impressed by people.  Being a standup guy, Will is dedicated to those he loves – a strong family trait.  He is well respected by his family and friends who know he will help out whenever he can – another strong family trait.

Will is very intelligent.  Science/Physics/Math are his strengths. Will is the type of person who appreciates logic and knowing how things work.  Will manages money well.  He loves Poker and plays very skillfully.  In June, he will play in the World Series of Poker in Las Vegas.

Right now, my brother needs a boost, something great to excite his Life and lift his spirits. My mother and I gave Will a trip to Las Vegas for his Birthday gift.

Lately my brother has been depressed.  He has just survived a viscous assault.  Not even a year ago, a bunch of our friends, my sister, brother and I went on a camping trip.  Somewhere in the middle of an event that is supposed to include good stuff: rafting, camp fires, marshmallows, music, whiffle ball – Will got his face smashed in with a golf club.

What led to the assault began earlier one summer night.  There was a brief altercation over something trivial that began between Will’s campsite and another campsite.  The argument never elevated beyond shouting. With everyone calming down quickly, I made sure to round up all our friends and get them back to our campsite.  I don’t like petty arguments.

About 5AM, I left Will’s campsite to travel a mile down the road, to go back to my camp.  Between my leaving and sunrise, a fight broke out between my brother and the people from the other campsite.  At the time almost everyone at Will’s camp was asleep – except for Nico.  There was no one else awake to help- Will and Nico were outnumbered.  The fight result was Will’s face being beaten by a golf club, which broke his jaw and caused internal bleeding to his brain.  Will was left in desperate shape.

Suddenly, all the screaming, shouting, shuffling ended the sleep for our friends in their tents nearby.  Being jolted awake, they were confronted by a horrible scene of Willie with his head split open and blood pouring down all over his face.  Willie needed immediate medical care.  The campsite was in Sullivan County in Upstate NY, unfamiliar territory.

No one had any idea where the closest hospital was located.  By now, Will was quickly losing a lot of blood – leaving him weak unable to stand or fully comprehend his dire circumstances.  Will kept trying to reassure everyone that he was fine.  Although it was the middle of the summer, he thought he had been in a snow mobile accident.

Our friends, knowing how critically he was injured, shoved him into our friend Betty’s truck. Another friend, MK, sat down next to Will firmly holding a towel to his head to try to stop the bleeding. Betty sped out of the campsite onto the main road, knowing it was vital to get Will to the hospital quickly.

When our sister Ryan relayed her account of the story, she said JL, one of our best friends, ran to Ryan’s tent and ripped her out of her sleep by screaming.  “Wake up Ry, wake up. Willie is hurt really badly.”

Ryan woke up and sprung quickly to action. She and JL jumped into JL’s car to follow Will in Betty’s car.  Ryan said she felt like she was in an action movie.  Everything moved very fast.  JL threw the car into gear, slammed on the gas.  Ryan said JL tore through the dirt road flying over bumps.  Because of the excessive speed on the unpaved road Ryan said she flew out of her seat a few times. She said, “At first I didn’t have my seatbelt on; when the car flew off the ground a few times, I knew I had to buckle my belt.  JL’s driving was wild.  He didn’t care at all about what had happened to his car.”

Finally, when JL and Ryan got to the main street they saw Betty’s car pulled over on the side of the road.  Betty had stopped; realizing she had no idea where the closest hospital was located.  When JL’s car stopped, Ryan flung open the door and jumped in the back seat to get to Willie.  Seeing the rush of blood pouring out of his face she tore open her shirt and ripped it into two pieces.  One piece she wrapped around Will’s head, tying it to stop the flow of blood.  The other piece she gave to our friend Nico.  Nico’s nose was split wide open.  Afterwards, Ryan said, “We learned this in first aid class – wrap a cloth around a head wound.  Thank God I passed that class.”

Ryan pleaded with Willie to try to stay awake.  Although Will remained conscious, he was hurt so badly that he wasn’t making sense.  He still didn’t realize the severity of his injuries – telling Ryan, “Don’t worry, let’s go back to the campsite.  I am fine.”  Will kept insisting he was ok and wanted to go back to the camp.  Ryan and our friends told him, “Willie, you can’t go back to the campsite, you have a hole in your head.” 

One of the friends ran back to the campsite’s main office to alert an ambulance as to where Will was located. Luckily, an ambulance had already been called by a fellow camper. Everyone was waiting frantically for its arrival.  Waiting, Will continued losing more and more blood.  Nico, too, was badly hurt.

Finally, the ambulance arrived and Ryan rode with Will to the hospital.  She told me that they were well into the ride before Willie passed out.

Once Willie was on his way to the hospital, JL hastily drove back to my campsite to tell me what had happened.  My camp was set up a mile down the road.  I didn’t get back to my place until 5AM.  All of this madness occurred in the very early hours of the morning.

Ann, Ann, Ann, get up now! Your brother is in the hospital.  Get up!”  JL had a firm grip on my right shoulder.  He was yelling loudly.  The time was a little before 7AM.  JL kept yelling, “Get up, “Willie is in the hospital.”

I didn’t believe it was true that my brother was badly hurt in the hospital.  Here we were with our friends in Sullivan County, upstate NY on our annual camping trip.  Just a couple of hours earlier I had been sitting by the campfire with my brother.  We had stayed up late drinking beer, cooking food by the fire and enjoying sitting in the woods with nothing else to do but talk and enjoy each other’s company.

JL’s voice cracked, “We have to go now, Ann. We have to get to the hospital.” With only two hours of sleep, my mind struggled to understand what had happened.  Willie, in the hospital?  Willie couldn’t be in the hospital.  I just saw him a few hours ago. JL shook me hard, yelling, “Get the hell up, we have to leave.”  Now, I finally understood JL was serious.  My brother was badly injured.  My mind was spinning.  I was sick with worry.  My heart sank with dread as I thought of my brother.  Scrambling to my feet, I followed JL to the car.

Talking rapidly, JL continued, “There was a fight between Willie and three other kids from the other campsite.  One of the kids used a golf club as a weapon to beat Will….since everyone else was sleeping, no one was there to help Willie, except Nico.  Will’s face is beaten badly.  He is in real bad shape.  Nico is also hurt.

Overwhelmed by the situation and lacking sleep, my body slumped lower in my seat.  Gripped by fear that my brother could be dying, I passed out.  An hour later, I popped awake as we were pulling into the driveway of the hospital.  I flung open the car door and walked straight into the emergency room.  As I was walking in, my sister Ryan was walking out of the front lobby.  She looked terrible and scared.  She blurted out, “His jaw is broken and his brain is bleeding.”

It was unbelievable to me that Willie had been beaten and hurt so badly. It scared me that something so horrible had happened.  Willie’s assault was real; I knew we would have to find a way to get through this with the best possible outcome. All of our friends were with us; everyone was scared.  I was fortunate to have missed the bloody mess.

Right now, Will was unconscious. Nico’s nose was getting stitched up in another room.  This was a horrible situation.

Two state troopers blocked the entrance that led to the room where Will was being treated by doctors. I tried to sneak around the troopers to get to Willie.  Immediately, I was stopped and told to sit still.  This lasted for a minute.  Again, I tried to get past the troopers.  They wouldn’t budge. Now, I was getting very frustrated.

Going outside to where my friends were sitting, I asked Ryan if she had called our parents.  She told me that she had spoken to our Mother only once.  Bracing myself, I called my Mother back to see how she was dealing with the news of Will’s terrible assault.  When she answered the phone, her voice sounded nervous and upset.  I knew she was scared.  After about a minute on the phone, she got another call – telling me to hold on in case it was the hospital.  I waited patiently.  She was crying when she clicked back to our conversation.

He is on a ventilator Ann Marie.” Having to dig deep into my soul I found a brave tone, “Mom, you have to stay calm. What exactly does it mean to be on a ventilator?” “It means that your brother can’t breathe by himself. He needs a machine in order to breathe.  He is going to be airlifted to another hospital in Westchester where they specialize in head trauma.”  A pang of nervousness ran through my body.

I replied, “Mom, stay strong.  Get your things in order.  Get to the hospital.  I will be there as soon as I can.  Stay strong.”  I marched right back into the hospital and stood between the state troopers.  “Listen my brother is in there.  My Mother just told me he was put on a ventilator.  I need to see him and he needs to feel that I am here.  He can’t be alone. I can handle this stress.”

Both troopers stood still, emotionless – looking me straight in the eye, contemplating my words. I had a fierce and nervous glint in my eyes. They turned to look at each other.  My brother’s life was on the line.  They must have understood this and felt my urgency, because without saying a word, they both stepped aside and let me through.

Slowly, I walked over to the room where my brother was lying.  Will was unconscious – attached to many different tubes.  His face was caked with blood.  He lay there so very still.  The ventilator beat with rhythm.  It was scary.  I felt like I was going to be sick.  My senses were assaulted.  I ran to the closest bathroom.  Someone had just used it; it was rank.  Between my nerves and the foul smell, I was sure to be sick.  I thought I would vomit on the spot.  Just as I was getting ready to throw up, it occurred to me that being sick meant that something was really wrong.  I wasn’t ready to give up hope.  We were going to have to hold on for Will’s Life.

Splashing cold water on my face, I washed away some of my fear.  After wiping the water off of my cheeks, I walked out of the bathroom and over to the room where the doctors and nurses were working to save Willie.  I stopped in front of him and began talking, “Will, it’s me, Ann Marie, your sister.  Do you hear me?  Get up and stay with us.  Do not give up – do not give in to weakness.  Do you understand what I am saying?  You are going to be ok!  I promise.  Stay with us and stay strong.  We are all here with you to give support.”

Then, I started asking everyone who they were – their names and their specific job in taking care of my brother.  I wanted to distinguish the nurses from the doctor’s, also, the ambulance drivers from the pilots of the helicopter.  When I found out who the pilots were, I pleaded with them to let my sister Ryan fly to the hospital where they were bringing my brother Will next.  I did not want Will to fly to a strange hospital all alone while he was so critically injured.

The pilots told me they would have to evaluate Ryan and take her outside to see if she was emotionally stable enough to deal with the intense trauma.  I knew that very well that Ryan would be able to handle being with Will.  Also, that if Will was going to hang on, he would have to have Ryan with him to feel her comfort and her energy.

The pilots asked Ryan their questions and determined she could handle the trip.  Some good luck came when we found out that the pilots and the helicopter had come from the Ranch where Ryan and I had gone sky diving one month earlier. Ryan and I had such a pleasant experience at the Sky Dive Ranch that we were relieved when we found out the pilots would be taking Will to the next hospital.  We had trusted pilots from The Ranch with our lives before, now we trusted them with Will’s life. Coincidence? I am not too sure about coincidences anymore.

It seems, the more connected circumstances occur, the more they seem to become less and less coincidental. So many things are linked beyond our comprehension.  Why people sometimes chalk amazing things up to a mere coincidence is mind boggling.  Never be afraid to seek or appreciate the links between events and people.  They are amazing parts of Life.

Standing with all of our friends, I watched as the paramedics secured Willie on a stretcher and loaded him into the helicopter.  As the other emergency workers boarded the chopper, I told Ryan I would see her in Westchester.  My plan was to get there quickly.  Watching the helicopter rotors pick up speed and gently glide into the sky, going higher and higher, I waved to the shrinking sight, not goodbye – but see you soon.

As soon as the helicopter was out of sight I made plans to get to Willie and Ryan.  Mike would drive me back to my campsite in Ryan’s truck so I could pack and get my car.  Although it was only 11:30am, I knew it was going to be a long, long day.  The sun was high in the sky.  It was already hot outside.

Mike took the driver’s seat then we started our journey back to the campsite.  Mike immediately hooked up his I-pod.  He selected a Pearl Jam song.  Turning to me he said, “Willie would want to hear this; he loves Pearl Jam.”

Sitting numbly in the front seat I began contemplating what Life would be like if Will died.  I knew that if Will died, a part of me would also die.  I was scared I would never be the same ever again.  Looking to Mike for some answers; he also looked scared.  He said, “Listen Ann Marie, Willie is a fighter.  We all know he will make it because he is a fighter.  Trust me, I know that Willie will be ok.”

Mike’s calmness made me feel better and gave me confidence.  Staring out the window, I looked up and saw a bright yellow sun and a white cloudy sky.  My whole world had just been placed on pause.  I didn’t know what to do.  Then the song, “Alive” from Pearl Jam started playing.  I was listening very carefully to the words.  I was still staring at the sky.  My attention shifted to the road.  There was a minivan with a bumper sticker on the rear.  It said, “Believe.”  I kept repeating the word “Believe,” over and over again in my head. “Believe, Believe, Believe, Believe…..”

As we continued driving, I kept looking out the passenger window.  Passing a sign, I saw a banner hanging from a school with one word…”Believe.”  My spirits were lifted higher.  Looking up at the sun and the sky, I said to God, “Believe? Fine…I am going to believe.  Ok then, let’s keep going.”

Reaching for the volume on the radio – I turned the music louder.  When back at my campsite, I quickly packed.  I jumped into my car and sped from the campsite in Sullivan County – to Westchester County back to my brother Will.  By now, Will should have arrived at the Westchester hospital.

Driving faster than I ever have before, we finally made it to Westchester. I knew that I had found the right hospital entrance when I saw the same helicopter that Will had taken hours earlier from Sullivan County.

Running inside the entrance of the hospital, I found my mom and dad.  My mother had a terrified look in her eyes.  It hurt my heart seeing her so weak.  Opening my arms, for the first time in my Life, I protectively embraced my mother as she had done for me so many times in Life.  My dad was close by standing strong and collected.

My parents led me to the room where Willie was being monitored.  Taking one look at Will, I felt weak. I wanted to find the inner strength that I had summoned in the other hospital – but it had worn off.  My body shook with fear.  Willie was hurt, bloody and stiff.

Now, I left it up to my parents to take care of Willie and be strong. I drove back to Brooklyn to sleep and spend the rest of the day with Ryan. Our friends came over to spend the night, while my parents stayed at the hospital. Now it was a waiting game; anything could happen with Will in critical condition.

Willie was in the hospital for two days before he regained consciousness.  Seeing his eyes open was an extreme relief. Everyone was happy to see him awake. Will tried to talk but he realized he couldn’t open his mouth. The beating had left him unable to speak because of a broken jaw and cracked teeth.  Immediately, I told him he was ok.  He tried to reply but couldn’t.  I gave him a pen and a note pad to respond.  We then began telling Will what had happened to him over the last 48 hours.

In order for him to heal, Will needed surgery to wire his jaw shut for 6 weeks.  It would be a long recovery.  Will patiently suffered through 6 long weeks.  He maintained a positive attitude despite not being able to eat, speak or sneeze.  We all felt guilty eating when he was around.  Despite it being a sad time for Will and all of us, he did an admirable job of encouraging us not to lose hope and to look ahead to the future.

While family and friends rallied around Will at the hospital, the perpetrators who hurt Will had packed up and fled the scene at the campsite.  Luckily, one of our friends found one of the attacker’s driver’s license that they had accidentally dropped by their campsite, and was able to give it to the police.  The cops were then able to catch and arrest the offenders.  The police had caught them speeding on the highway.

When it came time to press charges, we drove Will back to Sullivan County to start the Grand Jury proceedings.  My family and I assumed that the Grand Jury would be on Will’s side.  We were confident, having strong witnesses and graphic pictures of Will on the ventilator covered with blood.

Despite all of the facts of the case, the Grand Jury decided that there wasn’t enough evidence to take the case to trial.  My family was devastated and insulted.  My brother Will had almost been killed by getting clubbed to the head and the face.  His attackers were going to walk away free while my brother was still recovering from serious injuries and a $100,000 hospital bill.  Will’s life was shattered.  Our Mother, Donna, was not going to let this injustice go without a fight.

Our mother hired a lawyer to take Will’s case.  After some research and investigation, the lawyer discovered that the majority of the town’s influential people, in Sullivan County, had part ownership in the campsite.  If Willie’s case was brought to court, the bad publicity might cause business to drop enough for the campsite to end up closing.  We believed that the District Attorney took a dive on my brother’s case in the interest of the locals.

In an effort to get my brother’s $100,000 hospital bill paid my Mother was constantly on the phone; writing letters to the Crime Victim’s Unit.  Being a Finance Director as a profession, our mother is used to solving complex financial problems.  Her relentless effort and meticulous attention to detail succeeded in my Mother getting all of Will’s hospital bills paid by the CVU. This way, Will, would not have to recover financially as well as physically. Will is fine now. For a long time he was bitter, being obsessed with getting revenge on the people who had caused him so much harm. He couldn’t get over the fact that they had gotten off completely free without suffering any consequences. He couldn’t let go of the fact that he was almost killed.

It scared me to think that Will may face another fight which could potentially end in his or someone else’s death. I prayed that he would relent on his quest for revenge. Finally, my prayers were answered when Will met his girlfriend.  This revived the happier part of Willie that I had not seen for a long time.  Instead of obsessing over what had happened, he had someone special to focus his time and energy.  I am grateful they met each other at just the right time.

            I am so happy that my Brother is alive.  I often catch myself looking at him and thanking God and whoever helps us run this show called Life. They spared my family and gave us Willie back.  Without Will, we could never be the same. 

            After it all happened Will wrote about his experience to help share some of his emotions.  Here is word for word what he wrote regarding his whole ordeal.

Assessing My Present Situation

By: William 

             “Think of the most frustrating thing that has happened to you, now imagine not be able to eat solid food for 6 weeks, and then ask yourself, which is worse?  I can assure you that it is certainly the latter.  Before anyone makes any rash assumptions, this is far from a ploy for sympathy, but actually to get a few points across.

              I don’t know how many of you have come close to the end of your lives, but I can tell you this, I did very recently, and when I have time to think about it, it’s scary.  Everyone pretty much knows the story by now, and if you don’t, Google my full name and you can find it easily enough.  Now, back to my points, you would think that having my jaw wired would drive me crazy, but it really hasn’t yet.  To tell you the truth, I’m more thankful to be alive than anything else. This would not be the case if not for some of the best people I know – mainly everyone camping that weekend, you know who you are, the medical staff at both the hospitals and the support of everyone, again, you know who you are, once I finally came home from the hospital.

             My mother gets her own paragraph.  She has been the best, well……she has always been the best, but now especially.  She has been exhausting herself, day in and day out, on the phone with lawyers, District Attorneys, getting me anything she could think of that can fit through a straw, getting my ridiculously high hospital bills paid, (no coverage from the union yet) and just being there caring.

           It all comes down to the fact that I have the best family and friends out there, and it’s a lot easier for me to say thanks this way, I’m not the sappy type.  I just wanted to say thanks.

          P.S- This is the reason why the song “Alive” from Pearl Jam is playing on my webpage.  I’m still alive, when logically this shouldn’t be possible.  There has got to be a good reason for my living, and I’ll let you know if I find answers.  Peace.  One Love.”